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Post by x31tempel on Jan 12, 2021 4:29:03 GMT -5
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boom61
Feature Winner
Posts: 1,666
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Post by boom61 on Jan 14, 2021 21:43:47 GMT -5
I hope either side can get a laugh out of this...
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Hotfoot674
Heat Winner
If you're headers aren't cherry red by the end of the night then you didn't try/hit hard enough,
Posts: 330
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Post by Hotfoot674 on Jul 12, 2021 9:52:26 GMT -5
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Hotfoot674
Heat Winner
If you're headers aren't cherry red by the end of the night then you didn't try/hit hard enough,
Posts: 330
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Post by Hotfoot674 on Jul 12, 2021 9:57:08 GMT -5
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, “Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?
“No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
“Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms hadn’t affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, “Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can. We’ll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine.
Just keep them calm.”
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road. The paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.
Well after midnight, after the last one was done the doctor came out and said, “Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum…..
“I can't believe that guy!"
“What guy?"
“You know, that tractor who ran over Spot; He never even slowed down".
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Post by Forney00c on Jul 31, 2021 1:13:40 GMT -5
Did you know that Finnish, Swedish and Danish naval vessels all have barcodes painted on their hulls?
When they come back to port, they can use them to Scandanavian.
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Hotfoot674
Heat Winner
If you're headers aren't cherry red by the end of the night then you didn't try/hit hard enough,
Posts: 330
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Post by Hotfoot674 on Jan 7, 2022 10:00:43 GMT -5
so im at c&c metals and im getting my stuff weighed at the main office, and the owner is this huge rc cola fan, i mean like there are rc cans everwhere, anyway hes got his 2 way on, and i see a car come through the main gate on a trailer, and 2 new guys go at the car, the junkyard rule is there has to be a hole in the gas tank. well over the 2 way i hear "theres no hole in the gas tank, but ist bone dry, no fumes" and one of the seasoned guys there yells over the 2 way "I DONT CARE IF YOURE THE POPE THERES GOTTA BE A HOLE IN THE GAS TANK" everyone in the office starts laughing...
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17
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Posts: 319
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Post by 17 on Jan 19, 2022 1:25:52 GMT -5
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Post by dbradley23 on Jan 20, 2022 17:14:07 GMT -5
Joe Biden
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Hotfoot674
Heat Winner
If you're headers aren't cherry red by the end of the night then you didn't try/hit hard enough,
Posts: 330
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Post by Hotfoot674 on Jan 21, 2022 8:36:13 GMT -5
Man who run in front of bus get tired, man who run behind bus get exhausted...
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Hotfoot674
Heat Winner
If you're headers aren't cherry red by the end of the night then you didn't try/hit hard enough,
Posts: 330
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Post by Hotfoot674 on Jan 21, 2022 8:46:48 GMT -5
dont ever let a little bit of common sense stand in your way,just keep going until you suceed, or until you screw something up bad
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Hotfoot674
Heat Winner
If you're headers aren't cherry red by the end of the night then you didn't try/hit hard enough,
Posts: 330
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Post by Hotfoot674 on Jan 29, 2022 17:09:11 GMT -5
The cop comes up to the window and says “Congrats! You were the 1st person I saw today going 45 miles per hour…and today is Safety Day, you win 50 dollars!”
The man smiles and says “Good! I thought you were pulling me over because you saw me throw the glass bottle out the window.”
A woman in the passenger seat sighs and says “Don’t mind him, officer, he’s a smart ass when he’s drunk.”
A man in the back stirs awake and says, “Crap! I knew we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car!”
Then the officer hears a knocking sound from the trunk and a heavily accented voice says “Hey…are we over the border yet?”
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Landshark007
Feature Winner
I'm not here to win I'm here to make sure you don't win
Posts: 4,229
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Post by Landshark007 on Jan 29, 2022 20:21:25 GMT -5
I work at a junkyard. Have y’all seen how everyone ships steering columns. Well yesterday I went in the office in front of everyone and told my boss his but plug was here 🤣
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